Ilka Hilton-Clarke

ilkahiltonclarke@gmail.com

Mildred was going away. She had borrowed two cardboard suitcases, packed them with her worldly possessions, and tied them up with rope. She had been guest of honour at several fareqwell parties, and now she was ready to go.

"Buh wait, nuh,"Alvin told her, "you have everyt'ing?"

Mildred made a last minute check and said:

"Eh-heh. All excep' mih raffia bag, but ah lefin' dat home."

"You have yer money ?"

"Eh-heh, look it here, knot up in mih kerchief."

"You have de address which part to write in case yer forget any'ting?"

"Dat an' all ah have."

"You have yer certificate?"

"You mean mih baptismal paper?"

"Nah, nah, de certificate?"

"What certificate dat?"

"You mean you ent have de certificate?" Alvin repeated in horror, "You lookin' fer trouble or what?"

"Ah doan follow."

"Oh Gord!" Alvin exclaimed, "you mean to say you doan know yer bong to get certificate from de income tax office before you could go away?"

"Well yes," Mildred admitted, " ah read somet'ing so in de "Trinidad Guardian", buh dat ent for me. I only goin' on mih holidays."

"De Doctah ent business wid what yer goin' for, he say before anybody set dey foot on any kina boat or plane dey bong to have dey certificate to show dat yer done pay what yer earn."

"Buh I ent earn nutting."

"Doan mine dat."

"Buh I ent workin' nowey."

"Dat doan bodder he".

"But I ent have no money to pay nobody."

"Mildred, hear what ah tellin' you, dey go tell you dat if yer have money to go on holidays, you have money to pay de tax. You bes' had ring up de people an' explain' dem de situation."

Obediently Mildred lifted the receiver and dialed a number.

"Hello", she said, 'you could put mih orn to somebody what dealin' wid de certificate please."

"Speakin'." answered the voice at the other end.

"Who? Well what ah really ring for is dat ah goin' away on mih holidays, an' ah want a certificate so ah could pass out. You could help mih please?"

"Ha!" said the voice, "darlin', ah would like to help you, yes, buh insidea dis orfice in one mess. A whole seta papers disappear dis mornin'. Every man jack lookin' for dem. Wait until nex' week , nuh."

"Ah cyar wait," Mildred told him, "Ah want to go dis afternoon, who ah mus see?"

"Ah doan know. Dat ent my department at all. Ah could only advise you. Wey yer workin'?"

"I ent workin'".

"Oh, Gord. Dat is trouble. Income tax doan like to hear people ent working' ; it does confuse dem. What you does do den?"

"Ah does do a little sewin' ". Mildred informed him, " making doilies an' so to sell. Buh I ent sell none of late. Ah doan suppose you would buy one or two little ------------"

"No," replied the voice.

"Well is de same t'ing. Nobody want to buy an' yet dey expeck people to pay tax. I ent bodderin' wid no certificate. I goin' jes so".

"You cyar do dat, dey go lock yer up. Dr. Williams say dat everybody what goin' to Englan' ....."

" I ent goin' Englan' ", Mildred informed him.

" Well de States den".

"I ent goin' to de States".

"Well, it doan matter wey yer goin', buh you cyar go unless yer get de right papers. I advise yer now to take yer passport an' ....."

"P A S S P O R T ?" Mildred shrieked.

"Buh how, you bong to have passport.You cyar go nowey widdout dat. Take de passport an' see wedder income tax would give you a certificate."

"No, t'anks," Mildred said, 'doan bodder. I ent goin' nowey again. I goin' an' unpack. Dr. Williams goin' too far now, man. De certificate was one t'ing. Buh now he want passport. T'ings well change up. I never hear yet dat anybody need passport to go an' spen' holidays in Bomshell Bay."

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